I love it.
I have a good life.
I have a good and blessed life.
So why do I want more?
So why am I not satisfied with what I have?
Why do I always want more?
Jealously wiggles itself in and I grieve for what I don’t have.
I have so much.
I have so many blessings.
Why do I think I deserve more?
Hard not to compare my life to the lives of others and not be jealous of the grass that looks greener.
I’m figuring if I’d snap out of it I’d realize how green the grass is in my own yard.
Amazing beautifully green.
So you have a lot on your mind.
How do you deal?
I cook or clean.
Today I cooked.
and put them into little mason jars with brown sugar,
lemon bars for church,
and perfected the art of turkey pastrami on rye.
I’ve been quiet here lately.
Stumbling through life and dealing with pain.
Pain has seemed to be a part of my life for years an years now.
What is causing it?
We aren’t sure but after getting to the breaking point my husband insisted on taking me to the doctor.
We are trying a few different things.
So far they have helped some and I am so very grateful.
The problem is the side effects from the medication.
There’s no way around them and there’s no doubt that the medication is worth it.
I’m in a holding pattern right now.
Finding out exactly what my life is going to be and what it isn’t.
Basically I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Waiting for what’s going to happen next.
Seeing if I can ride out the storm.
So I’m not gone.
I know GOD is with me.
I know my husband loves me and is a GOD sent angel of support and encouragement.
My goodness how I love him.
Just very quiet.
Can you imagine Jesus died? You’re thinking “They killed GOD, what’s going to happen now?” You don’t know that he’s going to raise himself from the grave. To you it’s over. All hope is gone.
Sometimes I feel like that. Like its Good Friday and Jesus has left me. I’m alone and the world is on its way to complete and utter ruin. I’m terrified and in a panic about what’s going to happen. It’s then that I have to remind myself, “Sunday is coming”.
You see on Friday they killed him and all hope was lost but little did they know that His death happened for a reason. On Saturday it must have really sank in and the pain must have been overwhelming. I figure they were probably thinking “He’s gone and they’ll never let me live this down. I’ll be known as ‘That guy who believed the guy who said he was the Son of GOD’. Can you imagine? Then Sunday came and it all made sense.
So when crap happens and I’m left wanting to smack those who tell me “Everything happens for I reason.” I remind myself that this is Friday, and Sunday is coming. It may show up in a day or two or it may take fifty years but it’s coming so don’t give up.
Now I know said I had my chocolate pie recipe figured out.
I’ve changed the crust recipe.
Because this crust causes the heavens to open up,
The Angels to cry out,
And the light of heaven shine down upon me.
It’s THAT good.